Novelty Product Collector Pillows

NERD SEED 50 CENTS

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

The Hammer

Apocalypse Research Center

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

Bathroom Fairy

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"Roadkill cookies"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A close shave on the Titanic...

Lavatory Waterfall

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Tin Can Operation.