Collector Of Novelties Pillows

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Hay Rides $10

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

Apocalypse Research Center

The Hammer

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Bathroom Fairy

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Roadkill cookies"

A close shave on the Titanic...

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Lavatory Waterfall

'Have you any W fronts?'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Tin Can Operation.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.