Collecting Novelty Items Pillows

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'Perhaps you'd prefer to come back another time, sir.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Product recall'

Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

I don't look like much, but I'm going to inherit the earth.

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

Scotch Egg...

"Ok kid...lets see how fast you really are"

Insane Asylum.

'Well, I'll bet no one else thinks it's funny.'

Dog with toilet drink hat.

'Goodnight dear...See you at, well, you know when.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Free Tumblers.

"I think I'm dyeing."

'Get up. It's just a crack. No yolk, no foul.'

'I forgot my scythe. Here's a rain check.'

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Tom was disappointed with his fake mail-order Degree.

'Minibar' - A HotelMotel with an actual miniature Bar and Bartender in its minibar fridge.

Boomerang Present: Return to Sender

Convention: 'I'm With Stupid!'

Doctor.

Beard must be this long to wear this t-shirt.

'STRETCH, MAN, STRETCH!!'

'Don't worry. I didn't charge you for the extra soda.'

Erm...Those aren't novelty slippers are they?

Bathroom Fairy

Happy St. Patrick's Day

"Hey, Louie. Look at what I've done with my new eraser."