Collecting Novelty Items Mugs

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'Perhaps you'd prefer to come back another time, sir.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Product recall'

Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.

I don't look like much, but I'm going to inherit the earth.

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

"Your x-ray results are in. You look delicious."

'Well, I'll bet no one else thinks it's funny.'

Insane Asylum.

"Ok kid...lets see how fast you really are"

"I bought it off the dark web."

Scotch Egg...

"I think I'm dyeing."

'Goodnight dear...See you at, well, you know when.'

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Free Tumblers.

Dog with toilet drink hat.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Have a cigar. Go ahead - they're bubblegum.'

Boomerang Present: Return to Sender

'Minibar' - A HotelMotel with an actual miniature Bar and Bartender in its minibar fridge.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

'I forgot my scythe. Here's a rain check.'

Tom was disappointed with his fake mail-order Degree.

Doctor.

Beard must be this long to wear this t-shirt.

'STRETCH, MAN, STRETCH!!'

'Don't worry. I didn't charge you for the extra soda.'

Erm...Those aren't novelty slippers are they?

Bathroom Fairy

Convention: 'I'm With Stupid!'