Collecting Novelty Mugs

'C'mon, Billy, we need another quarter!'

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MEGALOMANIAC TO WORK HERE, BUT IT SURE DOES HELP!

Fly Football

Clown on bike.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

hard-boiled egg...

"Recalculating route..."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Bathroom Fairy

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Apocalypse Research Center

Lavatory Waterfall

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

'Have you any W fronts?'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

A close shave on the Titanic...

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Veloci-Rapper

"Roadkill cookies"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'