Novelty Item Fanatic T-Shirts

Randy shows off his celebrity navel lint collection.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Elton John

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'Now what?!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"Krazy straw"

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Leaking backpack.

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

The Old Curiosity Shop

Drinking Hats

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"Leftovers"

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."