Novelty Dieter Gifts

Jogging incentives.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'