Creative Dieter Gifts

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

Woman and sport trainer

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."

'It's a new diet. We can eat all we want. But we have to wear boxing gloves.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I found a diet website where everything is made out of chocolate and ice cream."

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

"I guarantee that your appetite will be suppressed if you take just one of these diet pills per day."

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."