Creative Dieter Gifts

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Woman and sport trainer

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

'It's a new diet. We can eat all we want. But we have to wear boxing gloves.'

'You're fat. I'm putting you on a diet.'

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."

"I found a diet website where everything is made out of chocolate and ice cream."

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

"You could run the weight off. . . 168,000 miles should do it."