Not Ready For Marriage Gifts

You're moving to Canada to avoid getting married? Canada border. I'm not the marrying type. I can't be tied down. I'll feel trapped, ornery, mean and I can't cook! Mexico's lovely this time of year. Hide me in your basement.

Marriage least expected to last...

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"Oh for goodness sake, Walter...speak up when the minister asks you a question!"

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

Stay Tuned

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"Hey, I'm in the mood for love—be back in a few hours."

Big Brother. 'No you can't have her evicted'.

My worst nightmare is to be a trophy wife. We're on the same page. My worst nightmare is marriage.

'Can you supply a faster internet connection and a faster husband?'

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens,'

"Do you Death, take this woman until life do you part?"

"We would like the bed delivered immediately!"

"You're nice, Melvin, but before I marry you, I need to see how you perform in a down market."

"He says we'll get married as soon as everything bounces back."

'He's the wrong size.'

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens.'

"You've just got a set of clubs for your husband? I'd call that a good exchange!"

"I decided not to get married. . . there are too many 'cringe benefits'."

Fantastic, fit, fortysomething exec, interested in culture, athletic pursuits, and gourmet food, seeks intelligent, dynamic, thirtysomething beauty for evolving relationship leading marriage.

"If you want to keep his rib...I'd insist on a pre-nup."

"I don't know if I want to marry, but I would like a combined household income."

'The secret to peaceful, wedded bliss, son, is TWO TV sets!'

'Our marriage is built on trust and understanding - I don't trust her and she doesn't understand me.'

"They say that there's going to be a major rise in the birth rate after the quarantine."

'On second thought, maybe I'll shop around a little first.'