Marriage Doubts Gifts

"I'm not sure I've explored all of my marriage options!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Wanna talk about it?

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'We don't text anymore.'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"I'm afraid, we may have to keep your wife in for a few days."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

"The law is a jealous mistress, something wives just have to understand."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'