Relationship Doubts Gifts

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'Great Therapy!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"We don't talk anymore."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

DIY marriage counseling.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'How long have you been fighting?'