Relationship Issues Gifts

"And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and two of her friends, I think one was a dude, then we all did Ecstasy, rented a limo, and went to Vegas—but I swear that's all that happened."

"My funny valentine is no longer funny ha-ha."

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

'I see the glass as half-full. Whereas he sees the glass and blames me for the naked man hiding in the closet.'

"Will you stop being a tool."

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

'Seperate cheques?'

"Look, as I keep telling Whats-her-face over here, I don't have no marriage problem"

'The doctor will see you during half-time.'

'Oh, good, you convinced your husband to come in for counseling!'

Wishing Well - "It works!"

"Have we really reached a point in our relationship where a heavy police presence is required?"

'Look at the bright side, honey: At least it was not with your best friend!'

'Why do you keep asking me if I live over the premises?'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"We got a problem, Mrs. Claus got the sleigh in the divorce."

"Yes, we have certain things in common but it's not enough."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"Is someone considered a missing person if no one is missing them? Just asking for a friend."

"Marriage, mortal combat. Tomato, tomahto."

'I think we need to discuss the nature of our relationship.'

Relate - "He doesn't even send me text messages anymore."

"I finally got them to agree, in principle, to disagree."

'I knew that you would take more interest when I told you that the 'other woman' was your wife.'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

"Well, if she doesn't love you for your money, son, maybe she's not the girl for you."

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

"Be reasonable, dear, you can't expect me to implement diversity in the workplace but not at home."

"I'm leaving you, Helen, I need to be free-range."

"... And he never talks to me. Mind you he always was a bit tongue-tied around beautiful women."

"Yeah, he's sooo sweet, but I'm not happy as a clam!"

"I wouldn't normally suggest drink as a solution to your problem Mr. Mills, but..."

"It's no use with him. It's over."