Marriage Doubts Pillows

"I'm not sure I've explored all of my marriage options!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Marriage least expected to last...

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

Wanna talk about it?

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'We don't text anymore.'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"The law is a jealous mistress, something wives just have to understand."

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I'm afraid, we may have to keep your wife in for a few days."

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'She says she's never had an affair with David Beckham and she expects me to believe that!'

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"I guess the honeymoon's over. My husband got me a gift card for a psychotherapist for our anniversary."