Considering Marriage Pillows

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Fifty per cent of all marriages fail, Nicole...before you get too serious you have to ask yourself...is this the man I want my children to spend weekends with?'

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"They say that there's going to be a major rise in the birth rate after the quarantine."

"I don't know if I want to marry, but I would like a combined household income."

"He says we'll get married as soon as everything bounces back."

'How can we get married? You said your parents don't give you enough allowance for yourself!'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"You're nice, Melvin, but before I marry you, I need to see how you perform in a down market."

"If you want to keep his rib...I'd insist on a pre-nup."

Woman imagining handsome swimmer as a vicar

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Of course, I'll marry you, Tom!! That's assuming you'll sign a prenup!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"I heard they mate for life."