Seeking Marriage Gifts

Fantastic, fit, fortysomething exec, interested in culture, athletic pursuits, and gourmet food, seeks intelligent, dynamic, thirtysomething beauty for evolving relationship leading marriage.

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

A princess looking for frogs

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"Hey, I'm in the mood for love—be back in a few hours."

Girl praying for love

Having shrewdly grabbed a window fan to bulk up his shirt, Winston hoped his buff look would land him a date.

Big Brother. 'No you can't have her evicted'.

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

'Look, can't you take it in turns to do the daily Sudoku?'

'Can you supply a faster internet connection and a faster husband?'

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

"Have you tried finessing her?"

"It's a parking ticket, madam. The prosecution doesn't need you to testify against your husband."