Looking For Marriage Gifts

Video Dating Service.

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Biological Cuckoo clock

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

It was official. She was desperate.

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

'Do you, Edward, promise to play second fiddle and also pay the piper?'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'Also, he should have a perfect driving record and good teeth!'

Matrimonial Agency "Mating cry"

Listen, I'm looking for more than just a roll in the mud!