Seeking Relationship Gifts

'I reckon a laundrette's a good place to pick up a woman.'

"I was hoping for someone with poor eyesight and no imagination."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'But I want respect for more than my ability to keep books! I want to be loved!'

'He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...'

Woman looking for a partner.

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"I'm missing a significant other person in my life."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'You have a friend request.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

'The poor thing -- her therapist recommended divorce, and she isn't even married.'

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

"Sanctuary Vicar, for God's sake, sanctuary."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'