Seeking Serious Relationship Gifts

"i had a nice time tonight, Dennis...but I'm looking for a serious relationship."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

'The poor thing -- her therapist recommended divorce, and she isn't even married.'

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

'I'm just looking for a committed relationship. I'm sick of all the games.'

"Sanctuary Vicar, for God's sake, sanctuary."

"I feel invisible."

A princess looking for frogs

'Why do we never cuddle anymore?'

'You never ask me if I still love myself.'