Relationship Seeking Gifts

'Please tell me that you have something else to offer?'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Pyjama party

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

"The best thing about our relationship is that we keep growing together."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

Romantic Coffee Dates

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"Love means never having to say 'put your damn mask on!'"

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

'You have a friend request.'

'Golf is Life (his).'

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"I had forgotten you were funny."

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

"It's serious. We've had each other's tracking numbers tattooed on our bottoms."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

Robin Hood and his band of married men Hey Marian...so long as yer up, how 'bout gettin' me another beer?

Valentines Kiss

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"It helps."

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

'The poor thing -- her therapist recommended divorce, and she isn't even married.'