Seeking Romantic Relationship Gifts

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"No, I'm not building a raft. I'm building a double bed!"

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'Don't even think about it!'

Tunnel of stormy love.

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

"Trust me, Brad, those comedy sound effects aren't a reflection of how this is going."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"I need a man who will commit."

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

Woman checks man's pockets to find hidden wedding ring

'I have a buy-one-get-one coupon for when this marriage doesn't work out.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"With the courage from that one drink I'll tell you I've been faking my squeal for years."

A Trying Moment.

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

"Of course he hasn't called - you bit off his head."

"Okay, I'll wear a tie."

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

'She must be the girl for you, son, look how much your mother dislikes her.'

A princess looking for frogs

Girl praying for love

"Better living through cloning."

"i had a nice time tonight, Dennis...but I'm looking for a serious relationship."