Quirky Marriage Enthusiast Gifts

'We were married on the 9th on the 18th.'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Storage Unit of Love

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

And they lived happily ever after for a few years until the quirks they found so cute in each other when they were dating eventually drove them both insane the end.

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'Well, you know what they say about opposite's attracting...'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

"I now pronounce you a joint return."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Gender Symbols

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'