Avoiding Marriage Gifts

"Why have you never married?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

Nervous at a party.

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

'Is he expecting you?'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."