Marriage Avoider Gifts

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

The Amazing Man-Spider

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Marriage least expected to last...

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

Nervous at a party.

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

'Is he expecting you?'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

Stay Tuned

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.