Romance Avoider Gifts

'Keep the windows closed. We don't like to encourage office romances.'

'There's no workplace romance here. This is a mom and pop store.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Sitting in a tree

"This will be hilarious!"

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Baker Romance

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'They were all out of roses.'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

Funnel of Love.

"Wow! Check out the moon."

Cupid and parachutists.

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

How oysters get engaged.

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

Perfect Match

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

Cupid's Valentine

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."