Romance Avoider Gifts

'Keep the windows closed. We don't like to encourage office romances.'

'There's no workplace romance here. This is a mom and pop store.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Sitting in a tree

"This will be hilarious!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Baker Romance

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'They were all out of roses.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

Cupid and parachutists.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

How oysters get engaged.

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"I've finally found my soulmate."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Perfect Match

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.