Nostalgic Tv Forays Gifts

"You've mellowed - I remember you turning off this programme on disgust when it was first shown in 2005."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Munster Island.

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

Mr. Rogers' lockdown

Police Box

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

The Professionals.

Late Night TV

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

'Oh no, it's Carol Vorderman singers'.

Head of Dumbing-Down

"Unbeknownst to many, there was also a fourth little pig..."

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

"Hey Coen, what are you watching?"

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

Kellogg's Wapners

Andy Griffith Tombstone.

Okay

'Remember, kids. Pester your parents for Chunkos.'

"The music is starting, Tonto! Come on, let's ride!"

Antiques. Special on Low-Def.

'THAT was weird -- I dreamed I woke up next to Suzanne Pleshette!'

"He SAYS that's his classroom, but looks to me like he's found some old reruns of Hollywood Squares!"

"Damn! We just missed hitching a ride with Fred Flint-Stone."

Happiness is a warm TV.

It's a good idea but, it'll never catch on.

'Forget this show. It doesn't even have a viewer warning.'

BBC Creative Dept.

'...In other news, Urban Renewal today tore down Sesame Street....'

'Cheeze... I wasn't ready for Andy Rooney AND Morley Safer on high definition at the same time.'

The following program contains adult material treated in a childish way, so call in the whole family.

'Hi! Tonights top 100 sagas will be interspersed with celebrity reminiscences form me!'