Non-traditional Lifestyles Gifts

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

The Mainstream

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

i-teddy

REPENT! Get back to nature

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

Upper East Side Dog Park

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I beg to differ."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

Astronaut Selfie.

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"