Non-traditional Lifestyles Pillows

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

The Mainstream

i-teddy

REPENT! Get back to nature

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I beg to differ."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

Astronaut Selfie.

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

The Shy Nudist Camp.

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"