Noise Complaint Officer Gifts

Summer Dog

At the rock concert...

Noisy energy?

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Cat and Broom

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

'Of course I care, madam!'

Turn that noise down !

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

"I'm sick of that bloody racket next door...!!"

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'

Antisocial Behaviour

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

It began with a beep. BEEEP. What an annoying noise. Where did that come from? BEEEP. Where indeed? Join us the next few days to solve the mystery behind the *beep* as we journey into the soul of modern man. (Oh, the hyperbole!) BEEEP!

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

Whine Country Tours.

Old West Trackers. It's either ten guys on horseback or a caterpillar crawled into my ear again.

"Complaints about the industry have gone through the roof!"

Angel Stands In Line At Hell's Complaints Desk

Insecurity guard: 'Are byou sure you didn't hear something- there it goes again!

'The last candlelit supper we had was when they cut the power off.'

Noise Abatement Society

"Do you mind? That’s really annoying."