Noise Complaint Enthusiast Gifts

'I wish the human upstairs would take his boots off!'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

At the rock concert...

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

Noisy energy?

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Cat and Broom

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Library Grand Opening

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Playing dustbins

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"In this one, I can hear the sound of traffic."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

Communication

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"