Noise Complaint Aficionado Gifts

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

"You know damn well what noise!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Cat and Broom

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Library Grand Opening

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Playing dustbins

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

'Please. Don't get me started.'

Communication