Complaint Aficionados Gifts

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'Yes - make sure you're sitting down! I have a complaint about a standing order.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

"There's a grouch on my couch."