Complaint Critic Gifts

"I think I speak for all of us."

"Will you stop complaining about being stuck inside? You're giving me crabbin' fever!"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

Payback Time

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

Moanathon.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'