Complaint Critique Champion Gifts

'...and your dress is wrong for your colouring and too young for you!'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Moanathon.

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

"I think I speak for all of us."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'