Critique Champion Gifts

Cyber Mansplaining

Lesser known greek gods,

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

Filling the Missile Gap

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'You are doing it wrong.'

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Nutty Assistants

"But is it art?"

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

Art Gallery.

"Now you can send it."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'