Complaint Critic Pillows

"I think I speak for all of us."

"Will you stop complaining about being stuck inside? You're giving me crabbin' fever!"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Moanathon.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'