Complaint Artist Pillows

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'You have a complaint about your taxes? That will be a 50 cent complaint tax.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Just give me a moment and I'll think of something."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Minnesota Weather.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Moanathon.

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Hello, Room Service?'

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.