Noise Complaint Enthusiast Pillows

'I wish the human upstairs would take his boots off!'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

At the rock concert...

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Noisy energy?

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Cat and Broom

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Playing dustbins

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Communication

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."