Night Warden Gifts

A call to save energy, based loosely on the style of second world war posters

That party went well.

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'Can I see your license,please?'

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

"That's classic J.R. . . .a little bit business, a little bit whimsy."

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'We didn't have enough money for steel bars, so we just put a bunch of syrup on the wood.'

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Crime rates drop 40% after prison uniforms are changed to neon pink floral patterns.

Cell division

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'