Animal Warden Gifts

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

Foster failure

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

That party went well.

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Beaver tower

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

Minority Report

Dog retriving Frisbee

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

Bird Symbol Hunting

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

'What's founder?'

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

'...Do not feed the bears'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'I'm sorry. I have to cite you because the frog you kissed and turned into a prince was an endangered species.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Wolf Reintroduction.

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'