Night Security Gifts

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"He's a guard dog."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Death to the Extremists

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Moulin Rouge Security

A Little Extra

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Scarecrows guarding a field

AI Safety Officer

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Beware of Don"

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Mou...Man trap!