Nicotine Humorist Gifts

"More nicotine."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

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"I gave up fire breathing and switched to vaping."

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Punch has a smoking break.

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

If they ban smoking in cars...

Casino - featuring pre-owned cigarette smoke.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

Animals smoking at the zoo back entrance