Nhs Managers Gifts

'I'm not certain this is the answer to the N.H.S cash crisis.'

'Without management consultants how is the NHS meant to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in it's client nourishment product....'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

The MBA Draft

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Bo're'droom

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'