Health Manager Gifts

'too late.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Virtual Doctor

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Doctors Discussion

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Safety Barriers

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

survival of the fittest

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

First Aid Box

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

Hell's Angels

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

Consortia set to take over

'You're allergic to feathers.'

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge