Nfl Players Gifts

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Bears

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"Uptight End"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

The Goalkeeper

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Improvised Dentistry.

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Football

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Now what?!'

Football player taking the ball home.