Football Players Gifts

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Paul Pogba

Player Status.

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'Where did we get this new goalie?'

French football explained - 50p.

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Fly Football

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Punt Cake

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

The trauma of losing.

If nobody had invented graphics