Footballers Gifts

'Do you have any books by writers?'

Messi and Tax Fraud.

Argonauts and football

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

STRIP *The Fan * Cantona's jockstrap bought at auction

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

'Whats his game?' - 'Oh! He used to be a goalkeeper.'

Shaving Cream in Football

Geese Attacking Footballers

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Bowled over again!

Church for sports worshipers.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Fly Football

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'