Football Gifts

"There's your problem."

"Mind if I put on the game?"

"Mind if I put the game on?"

"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

'Any questions?'

'I hope this doesn't turn into a tradition.'

'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

"We lost!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Thanksgiving Day Traditions

'Let's put it this way, part of you was offside!'

'In the interest of full disclosure I feel you should know that for the remainder of this meeting I'll be sitting here quietly thinking about pro football.'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."

'No Ken. Watching football and drinking beer at the same time is NOT multi-tasking!'

"I can no longer tell the difference between what's real football and what's fantasy football."

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"I'm sorry- I was wrong."

'I think I can...'

"I don't think much of their defence."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

"Another meeting?"

'He's right. We screwed up.'

'Guys! Everyone yelling ‘What the hell' in unison is not my idea of team spirit!'

"What a match...have you seen that crazy guy running across the field? He was irritating players and fans! I want to know why the scurity guards did not stop him!" "Becase he was the referee."

Football crazy

'Brian was dropped from the team after picking up a nasty leg injury.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"