Football Match Gifts

Football Food.

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

English supporters - Sometimes, the Germans may misunderstand you!

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Germany-France: Pre-match banter

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Fly Football

Church for sports worshipers.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

The trauma of losing.

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Brothers Grime

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'