Football Match Gifts

"Where are you getting those notes from?"

Football Food.

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

English supporters - Sometimes, the Germans may misunderstand you!

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Germany-France: Pre-match banter

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Bowled over again!

Fly Football

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

'Another football scholarship offer?'