Soccer Match Gifts

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Football Fans

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Funky Facts: Football.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Football

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Raheem Sterling

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.