Football Matches Gifts

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

'I washed mine in starch!'

Free drinks (If England win on penalties).

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Punt Cake

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

The trauma of losing.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'